Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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