Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
