Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
