White coat. Heels.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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