Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
