I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize
