I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
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