So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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