you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
