how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
