I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
what day is it and did you see me today?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
