Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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