doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
His hands were made for my vagina.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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