Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
