I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
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