I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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