I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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