Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
