i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize