Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
