she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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