I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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