Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
