have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
