Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
