Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
