i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Randomize
