Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
