Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the condom got lost in my hair
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
