Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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