when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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