This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
