You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
