This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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