Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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