i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
