At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
