i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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