I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
