I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
