am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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