hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
and she was petting her beer can
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Couch. On fire.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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