butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Michael Bay diarrhea
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We left the knife in your bed.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
