You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
