so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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