i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
