so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize