I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
