And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
