I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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