my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
