after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
