in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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