Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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