Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
