and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
