he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
