I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
