Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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