I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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