You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize