Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
this will be a night to untag.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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