U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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