Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
