does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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