how can u be prego again
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
