I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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