Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
