just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
