Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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