I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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