i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
