I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Randomize
